I got an email last week asking that I check out this new iPhone app, with a redeem code for iTunes. My reaction? Sweet! Now I get to be added to the ranks of other such internet celebrities that have checked the app out and wrote about it, like Fake Steve Jobs, who wrote a funny little sentence about it possibly being a hoax.

Is the app, Love Vibes, a hoax? I don’t think it is. Does it have any more utility to you than a hoax would? It doesn’t.

What it is: the Love Vibes app supposedly can rate, on a scale of 1-10, how good you are in bed, using only your self-input bed hardness level and the accelerometer on your iPhone. Yes, it’s that easy. Just leave the phone on the bed when you’re doing the freak nasty, and when you’re done, it will calculate your mojo on a three dimensional scale– your levels of passion, variety, and duration.

This “data” it then compares to its backup research, which was compiled during development from “thousands” of  surveyed couples. It certainly sounds scientific.

Armed with this information, I was lacking just one thing, being as how I regularly spend half the week on the East Coast working and the other half living on the West, my boo was not on the same coast as me, let alone in the same bed. So I did the next best thing. I shook the phone up and down for a little while, left and right, some wiggling here, a jiggle there. There was no bed involved, so the following results are probably not the most accurate depiction of how awesome I am in bed. Probably. ANYWAY– this is what the app looks like:

During the shakedown.

Complex statistical analysis going on here.

Finally, my score:

Nice! Go, me.

But how awesome am I in comparison to the “thousands” of couples previously surveyed?

And that’s it, folks! I suppose you could think you have room for improvement and use the app as a gauge over time, but that would only be if you took this type of ridiculousness seriously. Otherwise, its $1.99 cost is good for a quick chuckle with friends when you tell them about it. It’s not like you would urge them to try it out, on your phone. That would be, at the very least, kind of germy. And if you know me, you know I don’t handle germs (or the thought of them real well.)

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